Introspection and Thanks

This summer has been so strange, traveling at a snail's pace one moment and blurring past the next.  The last 5 or 6 days (seriously, it's already Wednesday!?) went by like light speed and I'm floundering a bit to process it all.  Even excitement and joy need to be sorted.

I thrive on rumination, introspection and processing my feelings and thoughts-- A pensive stance is home base for me, so when things happen rapidly in succession (though I enjoy it), I need the time to sort it all out within myself.  Which is perhaps why I write.

Big time praise is in order for #sandblast14 and the way God showed himself (as always) to be thoroughly trustworthy.  The weekend was equal parts wonderful and exhausting, lived alongside amazing and authentic individuals and feeling the Spirit move deeply. I walked in partially blind on Friday, but it's become increasingly clear since, how necessary the rock and hard place circumstances of the past few months of my life have been to the plans God had for Sandblast concerning me.  Which is why I say again, my favorite times of life are when I literally have no choice in the matter.  When options don't exist and straight ahead is all there is, at least I'm going the right way.

Usually, coming home from these things is somewhat hard because of the shocking disconnection from constant community.  This year, I found that not a problem at all!  Even my first day back was relationally and spiritually full-- coffee with a newer friend who understands my depths and later, dinner with a good friend who has helped me to laugh and pursue action in life.  I could not be more thankful for being right where I am.

Father, I can't praise, thank or worship you enough.  You've taken the broken shell of a girl I once was (and occasionally still am) and reformed her-- into me, the real, joyful, confident, vivid person you created me to be.  Sometimes I'm just completely awed by the amount of healing you have done in my heart, and the work you are allowing my hands to do.  So, so blessed.

Details

{top} - Thrifted

{skort} - vintage 60's, for sale at Curio!

{sandals} - Seychelles

An Introduction

Vocationally I am a pretty multifaceted character, I've mentioned things in passing here but have never really gotten to the meat of what God is calling me to use my life for-- and frankly, to some extent I don't know.  All I have is what's in front of me at the moment, and right now there are three: Creating/Making, Vintage Clothing, and Enneagram.  The only one of those I've not yet mentioned at all here is the last, and it's really about time!

Disclaimer: this could get long.

I've started to write a post like this several times, and always stopped short.  

The why is complex, ranging from not knowing how to address such a giant topic, to feeling overly nerdy (which I am).  Today I decided to actually post however, about subject matter that I have been independently studying for a little over a year and a half: The Enneagram.  It's my intent to be certified to teach it eventually because it's been such a useful tool for my own emotional and relational growth, and I so desire to help bring that understanding to others.

Many times when I first mention The Enneagram to people, the response is, "what's that?".  In short it is a typological system, (think Meyers Briggs or Strengthsfinder, but more complex) that highlights an individual's motivations and dark side to create self awareness and promote growth towards health.  One of the things I love most about The Enneagram is that it does not pigeon hole people.  Other typology systems offer 16 options that you can identify with, or 34 traits out of which to determine your top 5 qualities-- how can they think that there is that little variety in the vast human race?

The Enneagram is much more specific but most people miss this about it! Though their are only 9 core types contained in the Enneagram, each has 2 wing options, 6 instinctual variant stackings, and 9 possible tritypes for each core!  This means there are 108 different versions of each core type, and 972 different types of individuals-- now that's something I actually find realistic!  

Though the system doesn't box anyone in, like anything it can be abused.  This is something I try to be ever aware of, fully acknowledging that no one can "type" an individual but that person-- we do not know the why behind the visual behaviors of a person unless we know them well and have observed them closely.  Also, the Enneagram is not a fun quiz, or method of defining or labeling people-- those that use it that way defeat the entire purpose (and enrage me).  It is a serious tool that can help us understand ourselves and others in a deeper way, but only if we are open to truth.

This is why determining one's Enneagram type is not as simple as taking a test, that's truly just the starting line that helps to narrow the field.  From there exploring the material is of utmost importance to compare the type descriptions to your own experiences, thoughts and feelings.  I even recommend that people read up on all of the types (not just their own) to help them understand others, but also to make sure they've haven't jumped the gun and mistyped-- as many do.

Well there's the gist!  It's a fascinating subject that I'd like to incorporate more here on the blog, since I do so much in my life.  To write about all that I've learned in regards to the Enneagram would be ludicrous though, so I'm not sure where to go from here!  For now, I'm just glad to have broached the gigantic topic that it is!

In the Fall I started the first part of a project based on the Enneagram which will be completed in the Spring. Once it is, I'll surely be posting it here!  In the mean time I'm trying to figure out which organization is best to go through the certification process with, and continuing to learn.  That's really what has shocked me the most, after a year and a half of book and internet based study (and I can be kind of obsessive), I am still learning!

Sumac + Understanding

 

The recent snow has put a bit of Holiday Spirit in my step, but leading up to Thanksgiving I'm not as excited as I would hope to be.  I love my family but often feel that they don't understand me, or even desire to.  I want to be myself around them, but I've learned over time that many of my personality traits are not desirable in my family culture.  That's painful, but I am trying to keep perspective.  I often feel left out, dismissed, written off, or inconsequential.  That doesn't mean those things are true.

Today I will try to approach my family with a clear head, allow the Holy Spirit to guide my steps, show me what is true, and how I can understand them.  I know someone (?) wise said that to be understood, we must first seek to understand.

Today will be a day of prayer and seeking to understand.

Details

{dress} - Modcloth

{shirt} - T.J. Maxx

{tights} - Target

{boots} - Fiorentini & Baker

{mittens} - ?

{necklace} - Mata Traders

Blessed + Worn

Well, it has been a good long while since I've sat down an written!  Much has happened (as life does), and I'm so excited about Fall this year.  I've been working on several projects, and have had great opportunities to collaborate with others lately.  I've been working as a vintage consultant/stylist on a 20's themed wedding, and recently launched a personal project on the Enneagram.  Between the two of those, trying to find time to paint (I actually sold an iPhone case to an apparent Lumberjack lover!), managing my shop, and finishing up my internship with the wonderful folks at Mata Traders, I'm a bit tuckered out.  But the good kind of tired-- that makes me realized how much God has blessed me in this season, putting my hands to specific work and filling my life with all sorts of people.  I'm also moving in November to an apartment in a tiny green Victorian, and I'm thrilled!  More on that later.

In other news, I just purchased some new leather!  Though I've neglected them, the shoe dreams are not dead-- I may need to wait until I have more free time to start working on the next pair though.  I've been wearing my first pair a lot.  I wore them on long walks this summer, to estate sales and coffee shops, and I've been commuting, and tromping on leaves in them of late.  It makes me so happy to see these shoes do what they are meant to!  I'll never forget the first time I wore them to a forest preserve, my Mom was shocked that I would risk dirt or damage to them.  While they were crafted by hand, they were meant to walk dusty paths and dewy grass and be worn.  

And they are weathering quite sweetly, I dare say.

{peplum} - Modcloth
{corduroys} - Khols
{bracelet} - gift
{ring} - Mother's, vintage
{belt} - Mother's, vintage
{shoes} - handmade by me
{whistle necklace} - this shop