Action > Escape

In many ways this winter has been a walk in the park, but I am still hankering for true, sunny-day-blooming-flowers-no-jacket Springtime.  Warm spurts have come and gone, settling mostly on a middle ground of gray drizzle, like today.

My head has been a little in a gray drizzle lately, as well.  

I suppose that glum feeling is really in reaction to a deep restlessness that I feel-- a desire to do something meaningful, but not hearing clear direction from God on what that might be.  Because of that, I've had moments of wanting to throw my hands up, and everything to the wind.  Moments where I kind of just want to raise my hand to every organization I know, and offer myself to be sent somewhere (anywhere) where I can use my hands and effort to do something of value in the grand scheme of things.

And as exciting and freeing as that sounds, I think I've also realized that (for me) it would be running away.

From what?  From the creative knot here in reality that I have to work through, from actually figuring out how best to use the gifts God has given me.  The idea seems like an experiential escape from specific opportunities that utilize my gifts, that I'm sick and tired of waiting on (though I think God might be asking me to).  Sometimes, it's easier and so much more fun to go off exploring instead.

Now, I'm not saying that if I chose to fly off the handle and go work for an organization in Costa Rica, or Afghanistan, that that would be a wrong choice.  It's not.  I'm a firm believer in the truth that God gave us free will for a reason, that he's overjoyed to use whatever we do within his will.  By that, I mean that it doesn't involve living in sin, and centers around our love for him and others.  Apart from that, I do believe the call on our lives is simply this: go do what you love, what lights you up and what builds other people up and points them to the love of God.

So we're left with a heck ton of options, overwhelming as that is.

Ha, so I guess I still might throw it all to the wind and board a plane soon.  So many variables change every day, even the awareness of the ability to choose literally anything right now, is weighty-- and also very light, for all it takes is a step, a yes, an ask. There many not be another season in my life like this one, and while I desperately want to choose wisely, that preoccupation often robs me of... (wait for it. Yep:) action.

My life always comes back to that, doesn't it?  Just DO something, even if it fails.  Unfortunately Escape and Action can look a lot alike, I suppose that's the distinction that matters.

Details

{top} - thrifted

{tights} - Target

{skirt} - vintage 70's, inherited

{sweater} - vintage 50's, thrifted

{necklace} - vintage 40's, inherited

{heels} - Chelsea Crew via ModCloth

Jean

My recent light locks presented the opportunity (one I'm sure I'll never have again) to relate to my heritage-- my Grandmother Jean was a redhead, and I've always wondered if my genes would support ginger locks. It's only temporary, a stop on my road back from blonde, but it's been a fun moment that I realized I must post down for the record. :)

I definitely feel more myself as a redhead than I did blonde, but more each day I'm longing to return to brunettehood. Change is something I've long been fond of, but not merely for the sake of itself.

Winter has been bright so far-- sunny, I mean. Bright, mild and feeling more like Spring than anything else.  Creatively, I am active, but struggling to maintain focus.  God is doing some interesting things with my social justice interests, and so I'm following (really, I'm sturggling to not push past him and rush ahead-- waiting is hard).

Until later, when my brain in more focused (when is that?).

Details

{dress} - Vintage 70's, inherited

{sweater} - thrifted

{tights} - ModCloth

{gloves} - vintage 40's, thrifted

{shoes} - Bed Stu

{necklace} - handmade, gift

The Threshold

The Fall has been beautiful this year, full of sunshine, new beginnings and circles made full. The pursuit of Action has continued (to some extent, I'm sure it always will for me) and with it have come both beautiful moments of flight, and crash landings. But even the crashes I've walked away from, and surviving somehow makes you realize that risk is very very worth it.

I've shut doors on myself for years, so that others could not close them on me. Yet all this time, God has been waiting to send people and callings and ideas through those doors to me. The past couple of years I started to realize this, and stopped closing doors on myself. 

Still, it was all I could do to stand before an open door and wait-- I could never cross the threshold. Paralyzed by shame and fear of rejection, I'd stand there and half make awkward eye contact with those people, ideas and callings...until they couldn't wait on the other side any longer. Self sabotage at it's best.

I've walked through plenty of doorways in my adult life, some even at a full and decisive run. Certain kinds of doorways are harder than others though.

At the end of August, I made a very formal decision to step fully into Action-- the simplicity of which, I don't think I had ever realized before (Love Does was the key for me, in case you are curious). My first timid steps through one of my more difficult doorways (completely laying myself open to vocational, creative and intellectual rejection) was overwhelmingly blessed by the end of the same day. God is so like that though, once we can lean fully into him (caring not for our fears, or selves) he can usher us in to the amazing plans he has for us-- plans that will delight our hearts, and put our hands to joyful work. We just have to run through the door! Don't measure it, don't check the time, just engage.

My steps through the more challenging doorways have grown more excited, more peace filled, even if some still give me pause. I guess I've realized that trusting humans means first trusting God-- that whatever they do, for good or evil, he can use or redeem. 

Details

{thermal} - thrifted

{wool skirt} - vintage 40's, via Comet Vintage

{shoes} - vintage 70's, thrifted

{bracelet} - gift

On the Cusp

These colors remind me so of autumn.  Rusty browns that the leaves will soon begin to take on, and the pale gray blue of the sky.  I quite love this dress but the color and print don't photograph very well (it's a light periwinkle with white botanical print), but you can see it in the detail shots.  Fall is, and is not quite here.  This week I bundled up far too much a couple of times, which is a common problem I encounter in these transitional seasons.

For now, I am thankful for the warm spell and wearing the colors of autumn slightly before creation does. :)

A tiny PS, I just recently started a Lookbook and will have a button up on the right for it soon. Until then, you can find me here.

Details

{dress} - vintage 70's, thrifted

{sweater} - obey

{tights} - ModCloth

{shoes} - vintage 70's, thrifted

{belt} - vintage 40's, thrifted

{necklace} - handmade by seven finches

Loosing Arrows

While some have been sensational enough to call our recent cooler temperatures the summer side of Snowmaggedon, I shrug and take the opportunity to sport cashmere-- seriously people, it's going to be 80 degrees again by the weekend.

This week has (so far) been full of small joys, things that will fade too quickly if I let them.  A sunny day walking around a new (to me) town with a friend.  Being given a free drink by a barista at my favorite coffee shop, for the second time and apparently just because.  Finding a 40's gown yesterday that is one of my favorite discoveries yet.  Beautiful sunsets, both captured and not.  It's little joys like these that remind me that God not only sees me and values me, but he delights greatly in me-- and I badly need that reminder this morning.

I'm headed out tomorrow morning to serve as a smallgroup leader at my church's summer youth camp, #Sandblast14.  A sea of 1,700 high school students, a handful of which I have the opportunity to walk alongside.  Right before events like these, Satan usually makes it his business to go for my jugular.  To throw me off or cause self doubt in my heart, to distract me from the words of my Father in a time when I'll need to share them with others.  Misunderstandings with friends that come out of left field, logistical issues, busy schedules and general confusion.  When this happens, I am so thankful for those little joyful moments that God put in my path.  Reminders for a rainy day (like today) when I need to remember that my Father sees me, prepares for me and never leaves my side.  They are arrows of truth designed to puncture lies and distraction.

Today I'm loosing arrows.

Details

{sweater} - vintage 60's, thrifted

{skirt} - vintage 70's from a closed Etsy shop

{shoes} - vintage 60's, thrifted

{necklace} - fair trade by Mata Traders

{bracelet} - gift

Unrest + Umbrellas

Sometimes I dress for my mood, or symbolically-- today, I kind of did the opposite.  Bright colors to combat inner gloom and unrest.  I actually just started a study with some friends called Restless-- I'm only a chapter in, but I think it will be good for me.  Because I am.  Life seems stale of late, which I know is just a false perception based on my circumstances.  In reality, my life truly is full.  It's newly summer, my nephew will be coming into the world soon, and I am alive.  Not just alive, but learning and feeling-- even if those things cause me pain at times.

Summer will bring iced tea, swimming, walks through tall grasses and clematis to climb my porch.  That last one I'm so excited about! There was one growing near the front door at the last place I lived, and I quite fell in love with the flower.  I'm looking forward to having one nearby again, something about those wildly beautiful purple blooms was like a whisper from my heavenly Father.

And with that, I will focus on the good.

Details

{umbrella tank} - U.O.

{skirt} - vintage 70's, inherited

{cardigan} - J.Crew

{shoes} - Lollipop

Shop Update - May '14

After some furious cleaning and photographing earlier this week, I've finally started cranking out some new listings!  Here are the May additions to Curio, some just listed and some soon to come.

50's ruffled, novelty print juniors dress

70's lavender scalloped blouse

60's ruffled bib collar, floral dress

90's yellow Boy Scout den Mom blouse

60's blue tweed Marshal Fields jacket

60's pastel paisley scooter dress/romper

60's red and teal striped day dress

70's red scalloped blouse

50's black and white Houndstooth, wool wiggle dress

60's teal wool, plaid dress

I always hesitate when listing chilly weather things (like the last two dresses) in the Spring but then remember my Australian friends who are just heading into Fall!  This is just a start, but it feels good to get some of these pretties listed-- more to come!

Feel free to follow me on Twitter or Facebook if you want to know when these are listed!

Cranberry Tart(an)

This skirt makes me feel my heritage (but puppy fur loves it).  

Mom is moved and settled, I officially have a new sister-in-law, I'm going to be the proud Aunt of a little boy (just found out the gender yesterday!) and I am now actually an apprentice shoemaker!

These are the current joys in my life though the seas have otherwise become stormy of late.  God is still good (always, He is) and has been teaching, molding and building me to be who He designed me to be.  Lately, my main comfort and prompt has been from Proverbs 4:25-27 which is an encouragement to keep my eyes straight ahead, to not be distracted from what is right in front of me.  Personally, that's a huge reminder to get out of my head, and to allow my concerns and cares to rest in the hands of my Creator.  We fret and try to control our existence, but all God ever calls us to deal with is the present.

Easier said than done, certainly.  Good thing I serve a God who has lavished grace on me!

-----

Details

{skirt} - vintage 70's, inherited

{thermal} - Free People

{hoodie} - ModCloth

{necklace} - gift from Dad

{tights} - ModCloth

{oxfords} - Julianne Hough

Winterberry

These snaps are from some woodland tromping my Mom and I did together yesterday.  It's a nostalgic place for both of us, a Nature Preserve right down the road from my childhood home that my Mom volunteered regularly at while I was growing up.  She has something of a remarkable green thumb, and a large part of my childhood was spent out among nature-- something I'm very grateful for and could never live without to this day.

Reed Turner Nature Preserve is sort of a labyrinth of raised wooden paths through a wetland forest area, I remember running down the walkways as a kid, helping to weed out garlic mustard and learning the different kinds of trees (shagbark hickory is my favorite!).  They have on sight buildings for educational purposes, rooms with all kinds of specimens (insects, turtle shells, found animal bones, etc.) and books upon books about nature.  My Mom and I both admitted how wonderful it was to go back yesterday.  We both regularly frequent the Forest Preserves in our area, but this specific place is a gem to us-- one I hope to always come back to from time to time.

Details

{dress} - vintage 70's, inherited/Mother's

{cardigan} - vintage 50's, thrifted

{leather jacket} - Michael Kors, gift from Dad

{tights} - ModCloth

{gloves} - vintage 40's, thrifted

{suede oxfords} - Julianne Hough, gift