Thursday, September 17, 2015

Timing + Balance

Lately (okay, forever) I have been thinking about the way things sometimes fall apart, and other times, fall together. 

Why he never spoke words, why I never asked for them, and why we ended up both confused. That, or how in the world I came down with a nasty case of poison ivy the day after being cast as a lead in a musical and renting a new workspace-- having to wait two weeks to do a thing with either. Lots of other things too, some on the positive side of that spectrum, like how I rented a house that just happened to have my favorite flower vining it's way up the front door, having just enough financial resources in a time of dire need, or randomly running into a good friend in a sea of people.

Both beautiful and tragic happenings, that can only be chalked up to this thing I have mixed feelings about: timing. Some people say it's everything, but lately I've kind of just felt like shaking it by the scruff of it's neck-- which, from experience, I know is like kicking a bee hive. The times in my life that I've felt the most free, have occurred when I've done the opposite: release all care or attempted control, and simply ride the wave. I've been able to find the peace that comes from knowing that, whatever the outcome of the timing in my life, it is with purpose and designed by a God who loves me.  Even poison ivy. Even mortality, and pain. Even seven formative years trapped in sleep.

The longer I live, the more I am pleasantly surprised when I choose to roll with the punches-- for you really must, to get to what's real. <---- Yes, enjoy that over-philosophizing of 80's rock lyrics.

In other news: I've finally been able to set up my work space this week, and despite being held back by bronchitis (apparently my body was just not ready to defend itself yet, after the poison ivy), I am so excited to resume work on my canvas goods! The whole 3 and a half week ordeal has left me desperate for action in a way I've never felt, which I think is somewhat the point God is making: I should always take full advantage of each day, opportunity, or experience because I could be benched at any moment.

It's strange to feel so run down and so blessed at the same time, but I do. If you've read here long at all, you'll know that I love juxtaposition-- I think I'm beginning to realize that the heart of that is really balance.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my gosh, this stuff has Ben so on my heart recently (okay forever). Really strikes a chord. The whole first paragraph blew my mind. Why do we miss some things, but then others come so easy? Life is strange, but Gods hand has to, just has to be in it all.


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