Sunday, August 10, 2014

Quality over Quantity

I've recently written (or started to write) posts and then ran out of time, or was unsatisfied with the result.  August has been a little rough that way so far, and I'm trying to remedy it.  There have been dozens of outfits this summer that I wish I'd documented-- not to flash them around, but to remember years from now, that I wore them.  I realize that might seem dumb to some people, but I almost see my style as similar to my artwork.  I keep my drawings and paintings because my growth as an artist is something I look back on even now, and will continue to in years to come. The same goes for the way I express and present myself to the world.  But yes, I've been failing to document that-- among other things.

Life has become, as I recently put it, more regimented and that's caused me to realize I'm spread thinner than I thought.  Okay, really-- I'm all over the freaking place right now. I've been studying the Enneagram with the intent to teach it eventually, and oh yeah-- I'm apprenticing with a shoemaker too.  I also just started nannying for my amazing baby nephew, Gunnar, two days a week!  If that wasn't enough, remember that vintage clothing gig?  Yeah, my shop, a business that I am solely responsible for.  Eeep, and that's not even all I have my hands in.  See what I'm seeing?  This girl is a little unfocused at the moment, and in that state there's just no quality to be had (in any of those areas).  What happened to my staunch "No" Person status?!

This afternoon I voiced these realizations to a friend and even expressed that I felt a little annoyed with God for giving me so many options-- though I realize, "God, how dare you give me so many gifts and oppertunities?", is a pretty idiotic thing to feel or think, much less actually type. *headdesk*  It was then that I realized (for the millionth time) that he just wants to bless what I choose.

So, really, I still have no idea.  Just thought I'd post that for the record. Or whatever.

'Till next time, when I have my act together (or not).

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