Saturday, May 25, 2013

Adventure + Perspective

My Saturday small group was canceled today because literally every member (other than me) is busy having an out of town adventure. For the first 5 seconds I was angry (read: bitter), all but one were last minute news to me and well, I didn't have an adventure planned this weekend.  But then I reminded myself of the simple (yet solid) truth that God has control. If he wanted me to go adventuring this weekend, he would have provided that. (Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11)  Not to mention: if my friends have been given the opportunity to do something awesome, I want to be excited and joyful for them!  And once I've waded through my own hang-ups, I truly am!  Oh, human tendencies-- major fail.

So what does He want for me this weekend?

Just that question changed my thought process entirely-- there is a plan, even if far away adventure isn't it at the moment.

Without that truth, I would have been too caught up in envy to see my own path spread out before me (such a tragic way to waste life!).  I've seen it unfold even this morning!  I woke up mopey but allowed my heart and mind to be open to the prospect of a positive day.   A beautiful solitary morning at home has followed, something I've needed but have been resisting.

I actually made a real breakfast of mushroom, pesto scrambled eggs, my first at-home latte, and sat down to paint when I realized I hadn't spoken to God yet.  So I did.  Prayer out loud in a quiet house, with sleeping dogs and a fire lit, is in short-- wonderful. Especially when God has designed you there, and you can feel it in your bones.

I'll spend the next couple hours painting and finishing a card for a dear friend who is leaving for the summer tomorrow, soaking in the rest I've needed these past couple of weeks. I'll live this weekend as I try to live each day, expectantly and with eyes open. I truly believe that wherever we find ourselves, we must choose to embrace our circumstances in order to live fully.  I've spent years of my life finding that out, fighting instead of surrendering.

My heart still desires adventure, it always has (hence why these circumstances struck me so).  My God knows those desires well and I believe that He put them there w/ a purpose and for an appointed time. I'm realizing though, that adventure is such a multi-faceted, subjective thing.

Finding beauty in unexpected places, indeed. :)

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